For many of us women, the terms self love and self care trigger mixed feelings.
On the one hand, we are becoming more and more aware of the importance of good, sustainable self love and self care routines in our everyday life. We have a better understanding of how taking good care of ourselves influences our physical health and emotional wellbeing, as well as directly impacts the level of satisfaction and happiness in life.
But although the concept of self love and self care has gained growing popularity in recent years and we are becoming more and more conscious of its relevance and potential, a lot of us continue to struggle with implementing and (even more) maintaining healthy habits and routines, managing stress levels and staying in charge of our emotions and feelings.
Why is that?
Self Love And Self Care – Learning To Balance Your Masculine & Feminine Energies
Creating true, sustainable, and holistic self-care has two major elements to it. They can be referred to as the feminine and the masculine sides, or as duality is represented in Chinese philosophy, the Yin and Yang elements. If taking good care of ourselves is to be effective and sustainable, both of these elements are vital and indispensable.
The majority of popular approaches focus mainly on the ‘yang’ element of self-care which is all about setting goals, taking action and achieving results (as fast as possible!). We start diets to lose weight, implement exercise regimes to gain flexibility, or even ‘use’ mindfulness or yoga to manage anxiety or improve mood.
All this can be very helpful, of course.
But without the femine element (yin) – all this effort can take you only as far. The feminine element, which is all about our ability to gently listen and tune into our body, heart, and spirit, about our relationship and connection with ourselves, with others, and with the world around is as necessary as the masculine ability to take effective and consistent action to get our needs met, unhealthy habits changed and problems solved.
If we focus only on the ‘yang’ element, we usually miss both the main causes of the problem and the most valuable resources we already have in us to resolve them, and thus the results we achieve are quite superficial and difficult to sustain over time.
What’s more, the ‘yang’ approach is not an easy one. It requires a lot of discipline, putting the effort in, trying hard, and often pushing through obstacles and resistance – so it often adds additional stress and overwhelm to all we are already dealing with. As a result our attempts at self love and self care, instead of helping us feel nurtured and rejuvenated contribute to us feeling both depleted and disheartened.
My Coaching Program Supports You To Build Self Love And Self Care
‘The Self-Love Revolution’ offers an entirely different approach. It shows you a unique and holistic way to transform the way you take care of yourself by focusing primarily on the ‘yin’ element of self-care and self-love.
This approach is based on my 12-year long experience of working with women who were able to achieve much more effective and long-lasting results by taking a gentler, more conscious, and much more self-compassionate path.
Because self-awareness, self-compassion and self-respect are all necessary prerequisites to true and authentic self-care.
The Self-Love Revolutions is all about taking a pause to listen to what your body, heart, and soul need. It’s about:
- Learning to be at ease with all of your feelings and emotions (even those that feel quite uncomfortable).
- building a loving and supportive relationship with your physical body.
- rediscovering your sense of self-worth and self-confidence.
- reconnecting to your deep inner wisdom and resources.
All this needs to happen before you go out into the world to achieve your goals and acclaim your rights.
This gentle but radical approach will allow you to make a revolutionary inner shift in a much aligned and feminine way. Although it does require practice and commitment, it does not involve struggle and distress.
The ultimate goal of this approach is to help you create a nurturing and supportive relationship with yourself.
Such a relationship will not only bring more health, wellbeing, and fulfillment into your everyday life but will also allow you to create and enjoy healthy and close relationships with others.
3 Essential Steps To Self Love Revolution
- Go gently, slow down, take a pause.
For most of us, life is fast, busy, and demanding.
In order to cope with all our duties and responsibilities and meet the standards, expectations and requirements we are constantly bombarded with, we often learn to live mostly on an autopilot.
This might save us a lot of time but in the meantime we often end up:
- repeating the same unhealthy patterns over and over again,
- feeling disconnected from ourselves and others
- being half-alive – just going through the motions instead of living fully.
We push ourselves hard and never feel fully satisfied with ourselves, our achievements, our life.
Adding a to-do-list with self-care items will not help.
What we really need is to stop for a moment, take a little pause and notice what’s really going on with us. We need to soften and become gentler with ourselves. We need to take a few deeper breaths and a few long, relaxed exhales.
Paradoxically, it often turns out that we can do much more when we stop racing against time and pushing ourselves so hard. And instead take a bit of time to just be and breathe.
2. Listen to your heart, listen to your belly.
Most of us live almost entirely in our heads. We create stories, we overthink and overanalyze. Our thoughts make us worried or anxious, often keep us awake at night, and insist we constantly compare ourselves with others to check how well we are doing. Living entirely from the head is not a very pleasant experience.
Your head brain is a brilliant tool, but did you know that you also have a heart brain and a gut brain?
Without them you are like a lost child. You don’t have access to all the information coming from the body, to your intuition, to your inner wisdom and power. You tend to ignore and distrust your feelings which are your emotional compass – so necessary to navigate through life and relationships.
But once you start to listen to your heart and your belly, to the subtle language of sensations and feelings your body is speaking to you all the time, a whole new world opens for you.
And if you take a bit of time to get to know this ‘new world’ you will finally start to feel safe and at ease in your own skin. Because you will be able to understand what your emotions and sensations are trying to tell you.
This is when your self-care is no longer about different boxes to tick – things you’re not supposed to eat, exercises you have to fit into your days and so on – and starts to be all about responding to what your body, heart, mind and soul truly need.
3. Accept and Appreciate Your Physical Body
It seems that many of our strongest intentions behind our self-care routines come from our dissatisfaction with our physical body.
We have plenty of complaints in relation to our appearance – too big this, too small that…. We also have plenty of complaints in relation to our health, physical wellbeing or fitness. Little pains and aches, not enough flexibility or feeling tired all the time.
Well, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be healthy, fit, attractive and full of energy of course.
But there is a huge difference between giving your body warm and loving support so that it can stay well and thrive & blossom and constantly finding faults, pushing hard and demanding results from the place of harsh self-criticism or even self-hatred.
A huge difference.
And … you will get very different outcomes with each of these approaches.
Your body is a true miracle. It consists of trillions of cells, which are all alive and working hard to keep you well. Each of these cells pulsates with life and communicates with other cells sending intricate signals through chemical, electrical, hormonal pathways. Your heart beats and pumps blood without you even thinking about it. Your breath keeps its rhythm even when you’re asleep. Think about all the bones, muscles, joints, ligaments that work together so that you can move – walk, run, jump or hug a loved one.
We take all this for granted.
We stay totally oblivious to the miracle happening inside us and instead, we focus on the fact that our breasts are too small, our belly is too big or our thighs are too thick.
Most of us need a true revolution in how we relate our own bodies!
Once you start to notice what your body does for you and feel authentically grateful for all of its efforts, it will be very easy for you to take gentle & loving care of yourself. And only then will you feel truly alive, confident and attractive.
The true essence of the Self-Love Revolution is creating a radical but very gentle shift in how you relate to yourself so that you can put a stop to:
all the hassle,
trying hard and
start taking gentle & loving care of yourself with ease, kindness and compassion.
Ready to do this for yourself? Let’s talk – BOOK A FREE DISCOVERY SESSION.